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How to Talk to a Pregnant Lady

Chances are you know, or at some point in your life, you will know, a pregnant lady. Most of the time, the questions you ask a preg are seemingly harmless and well meaning and most of the time, they are met with a smile by the recipient, but I’ll tell you a secret: She really wants to pull her hair out because it’s the one millionth time she’s heard the same question and inside her head, the pregnant lady really is only thinking about if she will ever again be able to sneeze without peeing at the same time because she’s already memorized all of the answers to all of the questions she knows you’re going to ask. Imagine being asked how you like the weather 174 times a day. That’s what it’s like to be asked any of the following:

1. When are you due? Maybe you’re curious, maybe you just don’t know what else to say, but this is the number one question that any pregnant lady is asked every single day. I should just get a temporary glitter tattoo across my forehead that says April 11.

2. What are you having? Um, a baby? I know you mean to ask the gender, but really I don’t know and really it’s none of your business.

3. Have you picked out names? I find this question to be really personal. Maybe I have but maybe I don’t want tell anyone. Or maybe I’ve been thinking about names for 21 weeks and still haven’t figured it out. Either way, this question puts me in an awkward position, so best not to ask and stress me out, mkay?

4. Are you hoping for a boy or a girl? It’s cliche, but most pregnant ladies really just do hope for a healthy baby. There’s SO much that can go wrong during the course of pregnancy that it’s a miracle that so many babies come out healthy and perfect. 

5. Any sort of unsolicited advice about child rearing, breast feeding, birthing, etc. In general, it’s uncouth to give unsolicited advice on any topic. The same is true for preg topics. I don’t care if you’re Michelle Duggar and have been around the block 19 times. If I would like your opinion on babies, boobies or birthing, I’ll ask. And trust me, there are some people I totally ask for every morsel of knowledge they are willing to share and others I just don’t care because I’ve seen your kids.

So steer clear of these questions and you’ll be set. Now, you might be wondering what else you have to talk about with a preg. How about how she’s coping with limited wine consumption, reminiscing over that one time in college when…, and talk about what’s new with YOU. Pregs spend 85% of their time thinking about the baby in their belly and their soon to be new life, responsibility and lifestyle. When I get together with friends or acquaintances, the very last topic I want dominating the conversation is “Baby.” Let’s talk about the great vacation you had, the wedding you are planning, the new boy you are dating, and all the wine you are drinking. Let me live vicariously. 

***UPDATE: My apologies to anyone this post offended. That was not my intent. Of course, you should still talk to pregnant women and I for one love talking about being pregnant. The intent of this post was simply to imply that questions surrounding due date/names/gender have been asked to the same person many, many, many times. So, ask about something else pregnancy-related if you’re curious. The lady you’re conversing with will really appreciate it.***