The day we brought Nora home from the hospital after her stint in the NICU. Most definitely the happiest day of my life.
I don’t quite know where to start this post, but I’ll start by saying I’m not really sure I’m emotionally ready to disclose the details of Nora’s stay in the NICU on the blog, even though you all know she was there for a week. And I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready. Looking back at photos of my baby hooked up to more monitors than I know what they do, still brings tears to my eyes.
For now, suffice to say that despite being an awesome pregnancy and a relatively easy labor and delivery with just 11 hours of labor and 15 minutes of pushing (side note: God bless whoever invented epidurals), Nora was too early for her own good. I never thought that the day I got discharged from the hospital, I would leave my baby there. I never thought my baby’s entrance to the world start with a hefty round of antibiotics and feeding through an IV while test after test was performed to determine the cause of why she would just stop breathing and pokes and prods and monitors and cords were connected to her tiny body. I never thought my hands and forearms could be drier than sandpaper because I had to wash them for three minutes upon entry to the NICU using a scrub brush and surgical grade soap every time I entered. I never thought I’d spend my first week post partum sitting in a chair in the NICU for 12 hours so I could be there for her daytime feedings every three hours once she got her IV removed. I never thought I’d spend my emotional and physical post partum recovery in public restrooms.
I never thought I could love one little person so much and be so, so, so happy that she is here and now healthy. My heart swells every time I see, touch and hear her and I only hope that she lives her whole life knowing just how much I love her.