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Top 5 Things That Surprised Me During Trimester Uno

At 14 weeks, I’m rolling out of my first trimester and into my second. I read a lot of pregnancy blogs and have a lot of friends who are pregnant and/or have kids. Heck, my younger sister has TWO! The point is that, between the all the internet reading and all the “OMG! You are kidding me” discussions I’ve had, I thought I was pretty prepared for all that the gory details and embarrassing moments that pregnancy had in store for me. Not so. I present to you, the top 5 things I didn’t know to expect when I’m expecting (ha!). Warning, if you are a man or are women uncomfortable with reading about human bodies, you should probably stop now.

(No picture provided and do not google image search for item 1)

1. Jason came with me to our first ultrasound. It was AWESOME to see the baby together and to hear its heartbeat for the first time at the same time. I am so glad he was there and wouldn’t have changed that for the world. What wasn’t so awesome is the right before the ultrasound they were completing my prenatal profile, part of which includes a pap smear, and lo and behold they did it with the doctor, the nurse, and my HUSBAND right in the room. I could have died right there. I told Jason to stay away from the business end of things and to not even look at me at all during it. Avert your eyes and stare at the floor! OR ELSE! (<—my exact words.) Some people say you’re comfortable with the other person when you can leave the bathroom door open. I disagree. Get a pap smear with them first and then call me.

(poor Jessica, she’s so misunderstood)

2. You don’t look pregnant for a while, you just look fat. Admittedly, I had heard this from other women, but like most things, I figured the rules just didn’t apply to me. Whether you’re prepared to look fat due to no fault of your own (well, I guess technically you’re partly at fault), it still makes for an awkward conversation at work:

Me: Guess what, I’m pregnant!

Coworker: That’s awesome. I thought you were going to tell me that.

Me: Oh really?!? How did you know.

Coworker: Oh well, you know… I just had a… um… feeling.

3. So for the first time in my life, my stomach sticks out more than it ever has, but get this, at my last doctor’s appointment, I had lost two pounds. If someone had told me you can eat anything and not exercise and trade two glasses of wine for three desserts, I would have gotten knocked up a long time ago. I was so tired during the first trimester that all I did was sleep, eat carbs, eat candy, sleep, sleep, sleep. And poof! Two pounds gone. I know that will probably change sooner rather than later, but for now I’ll take it.

(No image provided. Also, do not google image search “pregnant and itchy”)

4. My lady parts were itchy.  This is probably the grossest thing on the list, but I thought for sure I had contracted some infection that only pregnant women get. So, I turned to the Google and lo and behold, when a person is growing inside of you the pH of your whole body changes and it can cause itching and there is nothing you can really do about it except writhe in discomfort during meetings at work. Dudes were smart to develop a whole cultural norm where no one judges them for public scratching. 

5. You get constipated like woah. I had heard of painful constipation before as something that existed in the realm of planet earth, but had never experienced it. I will never again judge a Metamucil commercial. 

There is a lot more that a preg goes through during the first trimester, but I was pretty prepared for the rest of it. Now that I’m headed into trimester dos, tell me past pregs, what do I need to expect when I’m expecting that no one ever told you. Please don’t make me read a book. I’m counting on you!

Notes

  1. erinthebrooke said: Omg….#5 was the one that caught me off guard the worst.totally literally feel your pain.i found out in the THIRD TRIMESTER that it’s common to add stool softener to your daily vitamin regime…face-palm!
  2. melissagilmore said: Some things I learned. If you are on your feet a lot wear compression stockings. Sleep in while you can. Read mommybeta.com and listen to their podcasts, they are good. I didn’t really read books, I know too much as a NICU nurse…
  3. quyenhuynh said: congrats, julie!!! xoxo.
  4. awaywegotoraleigh said: I am saving this list forever!! I had years streaming downs my eyes over number one. I can only imagine Jason’s face being like “um what is happening now?”
  5. caseyculture said: This is such a great post!
  6. or-doesitexplode said: im 23weeks now and people say the 2nd tri is easier, well it wasnt for me. so be prepared. if you are typical and feel better, im totally jealous.
  7. almosthalfway said: love this.
  8. emilyposts said: don’t read the books. they are awful. you will have more energy but i don’t have as much as everyone promised. i’m thirsty a lot more. and i’m peeing more. but i’m only 11 days ahead of you, so don’t trust me.
  9. lattesandlullabies said: I couldn’t agree more with all 5 points and at 37 weeks, I can tell you the constipation does NOT get better. But enjoy that 2nd trimester because its by far the best!
  10. littlelaur said: omg julie i missed the announcement!!! CONGRATS!!! such wonderful news!!!
  11. dailybaxter said: constipation is often a result of your prenatal vitamin and the high iron content. I swear by Floradix Iron and Herbs. It’s kinda pricey, but buy it from Lucky Vitamin and know it’s worth it.
  12. pinotandthefigs said: AHHH!!!! I’m so so so excited for you!! The 2nd trimester was the best of the 3.
  13. girlbythelake said: this is hysterical. great post!
  14. petermcallisterthefaaather said: you’re hilarious (and I’m only at #1!)! So happy for you two!
  15. perkieandmowgli said: I love this post! Thanks for sharing the gritty details … I am filing this away for my own future reference.