Braces, pros and cons
For some reason, I’m finding the ability to take a cute picture of myself with my new fangled braces a difficult feat. I think it’s because I’m having a bad hair day. I mean, what else could it be? I have no idea. None at all. Zilch. Zero. Nada.
So, I figured I’d do the next best thing and share with the world the mental list of metal mouth pros and cons that I’ve been tallying in my head over the last three months when I first embarked on this adventure in orthodontia. But, if you’re really counting, I’ve been begging Jason for braces for the past two years. Yes, two years. I finally wore him down after January 1 when another of my unspoken New Year’s resolutions was to complain about my teeth as often as possible and probably every time I saw him until he conceded.
Cons:
- I have braces and I am 30. Some might say this is merely a statement of fact. I see it as the number one con.
- My teeth hurt. Like really hurt. Like it hurts to eat jello.
- I have braces.
- I have braces.
- I have braces.
- I have braces.
- I have braces.
- My teeth hurt.
Pros:
- My teeth hurt. Yes, this was already on the con list, but every con has a silver lining and since my teeth hurt, I’m not snacking nearly as much as I used to. I fully expect to by the skinniest person ever to write a blog by tomorrow.
- My teeth will be straight - perfectly straight - in 12 months (or less, fingers crossed. hard).
- I don’t have to worry about guys hitting on me at bars. Not that this really ever happened much anyways in the past 5.5 years that I’ve been married (probably because… um… I rarely ever go out), but in the off chance some would (not) be suitor had too much too drink, the braces will surely scare him away before I have to tell him I am married. Fewer awkward moments in my life thanks to braces? I’ll take that. wait.
So, the cons obvisouly outweight the pros, but in the end I’ll have straight teeth and can stop obsessing about it so that counts for something. Did you know that if we have spoken at somepoint in the last two years, chances are I spent a good portion of that conversation staring at your perfectly straight teeth, because when you are obsessed with something, everyone’s something is better than yours, amirite?
And if you read all the way to the bottom of this post, then fine, I’ll share with you one out of 146 attempts at a blurry Photobooth picture of my zipper lips because everyone looks better in blurry photobooth pics anyways.
And before you’re all like blah blah blah those don’t even look bad and you’re still the most awesomest tinsel toother I know, I will show you the bottom, too, which are ALL metal.
Just call me Hannibal!
