It’s that time of the day where I must go find my words from last week about bikinis and eat them because by the miracle of all miracles, I found a bikini that fits, does not make me look larger than I am, and it even flatters a bit in the bosom region. It is from, of all places, Victoria’s Secret and it costs less than $60. woot-woot!
Now, I would be remiss not to explain to you how I found this bikini combo that I’ll tell you all about very soon. I went back to trying on bikinis after trying on a bunch of one pieces and being reminded that in order to pee when wearing a one piece, you basically have to get totally naked. And this is fun to the minus one million if your bathing suit is wet.
I have to tell you that I hate VS bras and underwear with a passion. When it comes to my underoos, I am Calvin Klein, DKNY and hanky panky all the way (with the exception of the VS halter bra worn with low back stuff, but that is out of necessity only). Due to my stank eye toward all lingerie-like things from VS, it didn’t really even occur to me to stop by their mall outpost and give their bikinis a try. But after trying on enough bikinis, tankinis, and monokinis that I probably have an STD now, I decided to just try on all my old bathing suits in my own home under candlelight to see if I could make them work for our upcoming beach trip and to see if I didn’t hate them anymore. Turns out, I still hate all of them, except one, and it’s from – you guessed it – Vicky’s! I think her secret is that her bathing suits really aren’t that bad.
So, I went to the mall on my lunch break, before eating anything so I could look maximum-skinny, and proceeded to try on about 54.3 different combos of bathing suits at Vic’s. That 0.3 refers to the amount of fabric on one particular bottom that I tried on. After all my scientific research, I am pleased to present to you my holy grail of bathing suits. I was actually so happy to find this bikini that I gave the fitting room girl a hug. True story.
Without further ado…
Get the Daisy push-up triangle top. Now don’t you worry your pretty little bikini-fearing head. This triangle top does not have obscene amounts of padding, just a touch to give you a nice smooth look with a little oomph, and it’s totally removal if you want. But don’t get those bottoms, okay. That would be the 0.3 I was referring to above.
Get these bottoms instead – the Very Sexy ruched waist scoop bottom. Guys! These bottoms do not dig into your back fat and you don’t even have to go up a size and then worry about perma-wedgie. These are the best bottoms in the world and they hold in both butt cheeks. But don’t get that top. Unless, you don’t like wearing a life jacket and would rather have your bathing suit offer you comparable buoyancy. Also, these bottoms are on sale on the website, but not in the store. So, go try them on in the store and then order them online.
I cannot tell you how relieved/happy I am to find a bathing suit that I actually like.
So, let’s talk: Do any of you have this bikini? What do you think? And do you dislike Vicky’s bras as much as me?
